There is few pains in this world that are hard to explain and even harder to feel. La douleur exquise is one such pain. It is the pain of wanting someone you know you can never be with. Whether its by time or circumstance or the desires of the desired. We all may have opportunity to face the pain of loving someone we are unloved by. For some its a close friend and others an ex and still those who are unknown to the ones they want.
There are some things that the heart may yearn deeply to say to the source of desire, to come clean about the depth of the feelings that they carry in their heart. Often we find ourselves paralyzed not knowing how to break that barrier or devastated to confirm that it is truly unrequited after all. It has been said that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. Yet, it has not been determined whether it is still a gift to have loved and loved without love in return.
La Douleur Exquise
If I told you I love you,
I’d hope you feel it too.
I’d love to imagine it all works out
And I am relieved of all my doubt.
However, as hopeful as I can be,
There is still this fear inside of me.
One where I lose you in all ways forever,
And we never do end up together.
Although you seem kind and gentle and good,
I’m unsure you’ll react how I hope you would.
Holding this feeling in quietly is so painful,
And seeing you with other people leaves me tearful.
I hope only for my feelings to end,
So I can focus on being only a friend.
I know this secret keeps me distant.
If I could I would be rid of it in and instant.
But, every time I’m near you I freeze
As I am faced with la douleur exquise.